I just want to apologize for my absence from my blog. I have been hastily preparing for college along with many other things that have surprisingly popped up in my life. I will write again shortly as soon as everything is settled. For those whose lives have seemed a little crazy as well, you’re in my prayers and may God be with you. Remember to lean on Him in every situation of your life and count every moment as a blessing.
“They were calling out to each other, “Holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s armies! The whole is filled with his glory!” - Isaiah 6:3
The earth is filled God’s glory. I know some struggle with their faith because they can’t phyiscally see God. As an artist, I understand where they come from. I love visuals, and even when I am in deep worship while singing at church I imagine Christ in my head. But I think we all need to open our eyes to the beauty around us. Last year I took a trip to Europe, and our last destination was Switzerland. On our final day we boarded a train to the top of the alps. The station did not drop us off at the peek of the mountain, but there were these long steps leading up to the top. My friend, Kendall, and I both decided this trip wouldn’t be nearly as rewarding if we didnt climb those steps and gaze at the earth from much higher perspective. When I say much higher perspective I mean it. When we reached the top there was this wall, and a sign that said “Do not climb over wall”. Kendall and I looked at each other in agreement that standing behind this wall was not what we trekked up here for. She climbed over first and spread her arms out as if she was flying, and when she rolled over back on the lawful side of the wall, I experienced my moment on the edge. I climbed over and automatically sat down out of nerves. But I spread out my arms like eagle’s wings (look at the cloud in the picture) and soaked in the beauty in front of me. Being up there- I could’ve touched the heaven’s if I wanted. It was the first time I understood God’s brilliance. He was in every inch of landscape layed out in front of me because He created it. I snapped back into focus realizing I was slightly breaking an earthly law, and reluctantly returned to the “correct” side of the wall. Kendall and I actually had to stop a few times on the way down because the experience and the beauty and the glory of God was overwhelming that even standing was a task. Some might say you can’t go to the alps everyday,so noticing God’s glory in such way really isn’t an option. Well I say it doesn’t matter. The alps only made me realize that God’s glory is everywhere. In the landscape. In other creatures. And especially us because we are made in his image. Be aware of his visual presence, but it is there in everything.
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”- 1 Thessalonians 3:18
Story time. Today I hung out with my future college roommate Kirstin. We were driving her car to the mall when she remembered she needed to have a nail removed from her tire. First thing I was thankful for: cute car guy walks up to help us ( Yes that’s right). Second thing I was thankful for: Air conditioning. It’s hot in the south, and-no offense kirstin- kirstin’s car does not really cool you down very quickly. Then, there was the moment of uh-oh when the car guy told Kirstin he would not put her original tire back on the car because it was too worn. Third thing I was thankful for: “We can try to find a used one for you that’s in better condition.” “Okaayy, how much will that cost.” *cute guy smiles.* “We can give it to you for free.” *SIGH OF RELIEF*
Yuhhhh!! God is great. All those moments of thankgiving happened within a 45 minute time frame. Give thanks, and realize how near God really is in every situation.
One more thing. Thank God I leave for college in month.I am ready to move out of my dad’s house.oops did I say that? ;D
“He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, and hymm of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” - Psalm 40: 2-3
This blog will be going off track from follwing God’s will down a path of a much deeper struggle; One I have already overcome, but one I would still be enslaved by if it wasn’t for God. Two years ago I fell into a depression for reasons that would require a blog of its own. During this depression I pretended my relationship with Christ was strong, and used it to mask my self-misery. I found myself popping extacy tabs, and as the serotonin level (controls emotions) decreased from the drug, my depression increased. I found myself surrounded by darkness, and God felt absent. But He showed mercy on me by giving clues to my dad, and when my dad confronted me about my actitivities I wasn’t afraid of consequence. Honestly, I felt an overwhelming amount of peace and relief, and the Holy Spirit agressively penetrated my heart. From that point I continued to struggle, and fell into other temptations besides exctacy many times even though I reestablished my church routine. But God consisently pursued me even though I was drowning in my own self pity. After months of trying to get back on my feet, I finally broke down in church from exhaustiion of lying, of temporarily burriying my depression with an unacceptable lifestyle, and I cried out to the Lord “I need you,” and the Holy Spirit did more than just penetrate my heart; It bursted through and intoxicated my veins with love and mercy. God told me “You need to talk to your father. Confess your sins to him.” And I did. It was the most freeing moment of my life. I know I am not the only one out there that knows what its like to reach a place that seems unescapable (if that is even word), but God is always there. If He feels distant it is because your back is turned to him. I have seen what He has done in my life, and in my friends’ life, and I am utterly amazed. I honestly don’t know why God reminded me of this time in my life today. Maybe to show me how far we’ve gotten as a team when it comes to my life. Or maybe, simply to share with all ya’ll. Probably both. Just know He is there and He is real and that His arms are always open.
I went back and read my previous posts and noticed a common theme in all of them which is trusting God’s will. I honestly did not realize how similar the posts were, but I could feel God smile as it clicked in my head what was happening; God was speaking to me through my own writing. Keep your eyes focused on the cross, and your heart open folks, because God knows how to communicate with every single one of us on a personal level. He knows how to get through to us better than anyone. He is more than our sovereign King and our Holy Father. He is our best friend.
“For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.” - Romans 5: 10